One teaspoons of sugar

Five jugs of water

Two soft pink ribbons

One sheet of chiffon into a dress

One pair of satin ballet pumps

Three lessons in Passiveness

One 15-steps beauty regime

Seven weeks savings on make up

One “How to Eat Nothing and Burn Everything” book

A man to get on your knee for

Seven self-diagnoses

Five steps to plastic perfection

Two botched nose jobs

One addiction to pain medication

Three miscarriages

One destructive divorce

One limited alimony

Fourteen two-faced friends

Twelve sleeping pills

Zero happily ever afters